Confessions of a Former White Hat Operative

ACCEPT NO CLONES!

Month: March, 2012

Island Updates

Underwater Gray base destroyed off of Guam.

From the islands of Tonga and Vanuatu have emerged 20-foot long worm-like reptoids. These are the Foghara Collective, the result of ancient genetic experiments between Dracos and Hydra; not quite snake or worm, with some human DNA mixed in, a very erratic race as it is uncertain who they are aligned with. It is uncertain why they have emerged. They seem to have made their way to the mountain regions and disappeared.

Battles Updates

A lot of activity lately.

Last night in the Mt. Palomar area of southern California, Uncompromised White Hats set off bombs in an underground Cabal military base. There was a small quake and people in the area reported that they heard several loud booms — this again was the Alvah Conscious attempting to come up from inner earth, using the destroyed base as a dimension access. The Alvah consciousness did surface and wreaked some havoc. Cats from Hemet, Fallbrook and Temecula mobilized and once again forced the Alvah back into the ground. What is curious is that the base was located on the electromagnetic grid line used by bell-shaped UFOs reported by George Adamski in the 1950s. Adamski had said he met blonde aliens from Venus but they were really early Fourth Reich members, testing their fake story out on the public, acting like benevolent Venusians. (Real Venusians live in the 9th Density on the misty world of fluctuating dimensions and densities.)

Another underwater Cabal base was destroyed in the Channel Islands off the California Coast by a Plejoran fleet led by Sub Commander Olien.

In the Hundu Kush area of Afghanistan, the Cabal set off an underground nuke in hopes to start a much bugger quake than what happened. They may try again. They want to decimate Afghanistan and make the people in need of international help, This is tied in to the recent black ops mind control operation of the lone marine shooter, which was actually done by Seal Team 9.

Mantis and Gray bases were destroyed in the JuJuy region of Argentina and again in Northern Sumatra.

The Laher People attacked the Fourth Reich in Antarctica, destroying two bases and numerous ships. They then destroyed several Australian battleships near New Zealand. The Andromeda Council attacked this Laher ship and gthe ship crash landed in New Zealand’s North Island, outside the city of Wellington. A dozen civilian lives on ground were lost. Lehran survivors were rounded up by the Plejarans, led by Samjase.

The 17 mile long mystery ship orbiting the moon has shown some curious activity with glowing red and blue lights on the surface. Still unknown who or what is inside the vessel, and what its agenda is.

A Laher attack ship fired on another Andromeda Council mother ship, causing minor damage, before disappearing into the wormhole it had come from.

Shawn Henry, an FBI assistant director, was clone last week and his clone has now been pressing for complete government contol of the internet giving the Obama Clones power to use a kill switch to shut off net connection all across the USA. The Anonymous Group has warned they will shut down the FBI and the White House if that happens. Several members of Anonymous were arrested and replaced with clones.

Perverse Plans of the Luciferian Sicko Vladimir Putin

We just got intel that the Cabal, by order of Vladimir Putin, is having these things mass produced in the Ukraine: the baby Jesus Butt Plug. Millions will be distributed on Dec. 21, 2012, to people all over the world, even Islamic, Buddhist and Hindu faith nations. Their motto: “Now everyone can have their own personal Jesus in the most personal area.”

Inflamed and determined not to let the Christian faith be the butt of end-times shifting, the Knights of the Silver Sword have joined with the Gnostic Illuminati to find the factory in the Ukraine and destroy, and obliterate all of these…items…

A World Without Gas-Guzzling Vehicles

One of the discussions on Procyon IV, proposed by more radical thinkers within the Andromeda Council, is to remove all cars and trucks and anything that needs gas from the earth. What would happen then? The Cabal would financially crash. People would not be spending a good chunk of their income on gas, there would be no oil wars, and if the world wanted cars again, factories would start making cars that run on water or solar energy. Sure people would freak out without wheels, but mankind got by without them for hundreds of years.

The debate was whether they had the right to interfere with humanity on such a scale, since the ownership of cars and the purchasing of gas falls under free will, something they are forbidden to usurp.

My proposal is this: if we could get even 30-40% of everyone in the western world to not drive their cars or buy gas for one day a week, the economic impact on the cabal would be tremendous, to such a point that Obama would do something  absurd as sign a bill that would have anyone refusing to drive put in jail — he already wants to imprison anyone who refuses his healthcare plan.  But say we get 50% to not drive or buy gas for two days a week…we would see gas prices go down to $1.20 as an incentive for the masses to consume 7 days a week.

A pipe dream, I know, as so many see the wheels as an extension of their existence. Could one really expect all the insecure men fearful about the size of their penises to not hop into these big trucks so they can feel big in the world? It is human men like this who are behind the wars and the need t smash things…

Links

Dear Gentle People,

Unless they are youtube links, I will no longer look at or allow comments with links inside. Already the past week I have had three spies try to infect me with links that have viruses attached. What these digital assassins don’t realize is that I am connecting to the net via Plejaran technology using my mind to operate a holographic screen and screenboard — hence the typos, since I have not yet mastered typing by thought…and this advanced tech is invulnerable to even the most crafty earth-based hacker. While these are not harmful to tech, others who may hit the links will suffer software damage.

Click with caution!

Attack of the Laher People, One-Eyed Beings from the Future!

  A Laher mothership was destroyed offshore from Chiapas, Mexico, before it was able to launch an attack on Mexico that would have ignited the San Andreas Fault, causing a 9.5 up through Mexico and into San Diego, Los Angeles, and San Francisco.

The Laher fleet appeared out of a wormhole 36 hours ago, near Mars, a complete surprise to all. They have superior weapons that outmatched the Andromeda Council mothership in the area, causing much damage and near destruction, 176 Andromedans lost their life. Much sorrow is felt on the good side.

Little is known about the Laher people. They are from the future. They have one single giant eye on their head, although some believe it is a helmet of some sort that covers their grotesque features, and helps them breathe. There is a theory that they are a malformed race whose DNA was grossly infected from a past nuclear war. Some also say they are humans…and one might think they would try to stop the Cabal from setting off nukes, but they have joined the Cabal.

After studying their mothership design, a weakness was found and a successful attack on the ship off the waters of Chiapas engaged. The other mother ships are hidden about the planet.

Eva Moore: Transformation into Werewolf, Shewolf, and Clone

First of all, yes: Eva was cloned.

Eva Moore, an officer in the Canadian Army Intelligence, was attacked and killed by a wolf while taking a walk at night last week in Calgary, Canada. Bill Brockbrader contacted his CIA handler, Dave Corso (recently crowned Ms. Lady Galore by the Las Vegas Transvestite and Transsexual Cabal), who happens to now be a clone, and arranged to have Eva cloned.

The problem: Eva was attacked by a werewolf, so she was not exactly “dead.” Like a zombie, she arose from the morgue and turned into a shewolf and caused havoc in the city of Calgary.

Since they cloned with infected DNA, the Eva Moore Clone is also a werewolf.

“Oh my this is worse than a Navy SEAL  BUD/s graduation gangbang,” bemoaned Brockbrader. (This is where every potential SEAL who passes the rigorous BUD/s class has to pass one last strenuous test: being passed around by every available SEAL member, of all 14 teams, and sexually abused for 24 hours straight, a Luciferian ritual all must adhere to, either as pitcher or catcher. This is not only endurance training for what might happen to them if they are captured by the enemy, but it is also using a theory employed by the ancient Spartans: that homosexual bonding made the men fight harder for each other out of passion and love. It is said that Brockbader almost quit during this part, whereas Don Shipley wanted a second go around he had so much fun.)

But who sent the werewolf to bite Eva? Was it random? No. It was sent by the Grand Howler of all Werewolves: Vladimir Putin. This is new intel, that Putin is not only a Cabalist, he is a different sort of shapeshifter. This is proof that the Lichanthropes have aligned themselves with Dracos.

Now we have two Eva Moores, one original and one clone, both werewolves on full moon nights.

It is reported that Brockbrader has learned to enjoy having both of them in his bed.

BTW…

Those posting in the comments:

1. I don’t have time to answer long elaborate multi-point questions. These things I will address in future posts.

2. I know who the spies are. You think you’re that clever? Spy or not, you are welcome.

Those with internet radio shows:

I know what you have been saying about me. I hear your shows, not often live, but I get around to hearing them later, yes I do, Mr. Asshat Maugans. Oh hey I will even give you a link since you bitch so much that people never link you when mentioning Wolf Transvestite Radio. ;) –you know I luv ya all. And oh, Randy, your blog article only generated three hits to this blog, which means…well…not many people read your blog, nor do many listen to your show. But, and that is a big butt if you get the hint, your interview with Whitley the other day was excellent.

Drag Queen Dave: McCullum has been in IRAQ not Afghanistan. You have gotten that wrong THREE times, you old queen, either your mind controlled brain is slipping or you have been drinking too many martinis at the Vegas tranny clubs you like to haunt and lip-sing at. Say it: eeeeeyyyeee-raque. His mission is over, his alter asleep, and he is back in Ohio with wife and K9. and I hear he will be promoted upward from Lt. Cmdr. And oh–I won’t send any more pulse beams to knock out your computer like I did on Tuesday; I was just playin’ witcha. And while I know my ABCs, I no longer play in that sandbox, eh, old timer.

Bill Brockbader aka Brock Williams, CIA: Congrats on your handler giving you your own show, you are certainly a better host and a man’s man.  How is Canada, laddie? We know where you are with Eva, Canadian Army Intelligence, recently cloned and turned werewolf. But on the Ben Fulford issue: you know very well those posts were made by clones! But the real Fulford is back and will soon be a keyboard commando again.

Rebecca Jernigan: A former white hat does not mean black hat. It means I am no longer associated with the white hats as they have been compromised and some have been cloned.

 

ACCEPT NO CLONES! 

A slogan many will be chanting in the coming days when Project Strawman becomes apparent and when Operation 711 is launched in July…but, Sean, what does it mean when a clone says that? Clone self-hatred?

3M

Three million hits on this blog just now. I realize 30-40% are repeats, but still, not bad. Maybe I should write a book and offer seminars? Just kidding. I would not know where to start with a book, nor do I have the desire. This goes for my future clones as well, in that other timeline I shall avoid. What will I do in the 5D world? If I stay and don’t relocate to Erra or Procyon III or VII? Maybe take up pottery, that could be meditative, or painting.

A Curious Thing Happened on the Way to Natural City on Procyon IV: Time Travel, My Assassination, My Clone

So here is the thing: on the high-speed anti-grav tube from Eiger City to Natural City on Procyon IV, I was confronted by a very curious person: me.

Moi, I, yo, Ich — from the future. And a clone.

Yes, I was quite surprised, too; but stranger things have happened to me.

This clone of me was from 13 years in the future and did not look a day older, except he (me?) had shaved all the hair off his head. I am not sure about me pulling a Telly Sevalis. Anyway, he (me) told me that he had traveled back in time to warn me about how I would be killed, and then cloned.

He told me the date, not far from now, and where, what city, and what time, and the circumstances. Quite simply, an insane member of FIGU would assassinate me for revealing the truth about Billy Meier, that he has lost his marbles and has not been in contact with the Plejarans since 1995.

So my future clone does not want to be a future clone but be me. I asked if there were more than one clone of me and he (me) said, “There are 30, most off-world, 5 on earth, each with a different wife.”|

Now I can see my damn clones doing shit like that — but it begs a question: if your clones all marry different women, is that considered bigamy?

He said 13 years from there, bigamy is no longer outlawed on 3D earth, where the population is down to one billion people with 70% all women.

“Hold them doggies,” said I, “are you telling me that I did not ascend to 5D?”

“Clones cannot ascend,” said my future clone.

Well, that proved a theory I suspected.

“I do not want to be a soulless copy trapped in the Third density Hell,” my clone added with a stressed dismay.

I asked what 3D earth was like and he told me it was indeed hell on earth: the pole shifted so that the North Pole is now the top of Africa. The south pole ice melted and released a lot of viruses that had been dormant for 75,000 years. The planet is overrun by reptoids and hybrid Essassinis, Annunaki and Lahers. Jeb Bush rules over the eastern side of the US, what is left of it, and Vladimir Putin rules over what is left of the West, as well as China, Japan, Russia and most of East Europe. UK is fighting for rights to take back the colonies, led by King William, who self-proclaims himself the true Emperor of the World by blood right. The Cabal is split up and fighting each other. Most people on Africa are dead. Australia and New Zealand are sunk, with a few scattered islands. There is a one world currency. The “Rapture” did happen, it was when those ready and willing for 5D life simply vanished from the 3D earth. Many Christians and Catholics, feeling they had not been chosen by God, committed suicide, and those left demanded the annihilation of all Muslims. Israel nuked Iran, Iraq, Syria, Yemen, Egypt, and expanded its terror-tory all across the Middle-East, now a cold snow area like Canada, as the Kingdom of David. Canada seemed to suffer the less in the changes and had the most 5D ascension, but made treaties with Bush and Putin, who are still controlled by the Rothschilds. Those bakers and generals and Cabalists who went to underground cities to escape the earth changes died when those areas sunk from quakes or the rise of the oceans from the polar caps melting. A vast ancient city in the South Pole was uncovered, at least half a million years old, no one knows who they were; many people have migrated there to rebuild it and figure out the tech. The 4th Reich was destroyed. The other people in the underground cities were betrayed by Dracos and became food for lizard boys. All boys and girls must, at age 12, become sex slaves to the Cabal, and are released at age 20 to re-enter the society and get married and reproduce, especially since there are much more women than men. Female gladiator games, fights to the death, are popular TV and internet shows. The internet is restricted, and there is no freedom of speech. There is a rebellion faction, but they are off-world making plans — and this is where my clone came from, 13 years in the future on Procyon.

“You see,” my clone concluded, “it is not the best of all possible worlds, Dr. Pangloss.”

“Yes indeed, Candie,” I said.

“Pease, do what you can do avoid the assassination and cloning.”

“Then you won’t exist.”

“That is fine with me.”

And then my clone went back to whence he came.

Asket agreed that I had to avoid going to a certain city at a certain day and time, not too far from now.

“Entire timelines will change,” I said.

“They always are changing,” she said. “That clone was from one timeline, but that timelines does not have to be yours.”

“If I die, I can reincarnate back to Erra.”

“As what? My child?” she said. “You still have much work to do.”

She was right of course. But if that crazy FIGU member doesn’t get me then, she might get me later.

“We can always detain her, put her in stasis,” Asket suggested.

“Will that be allowed?” I asked.

She said, “Given the circumstances, I believe so. And this woman thinks she is connected to the Plejarans, which she is not, but she will accept our intervention.”

So that’s that.

This non-clone life remains curious and interesting.

an message to those with eyes

Returned

I am back from three weeks on Procyon…only 10 hours earth time!

But what is “time” but a fabrication of rotations in the 3rd Density?

On the amusing side: More sad people who have nothing better to do and fancy themselves detectives of the net left messages for me in the comments section that I deleted but will tell you what they said:  three people who think they know who I am; I am now three different people am I, eh? Now they claim I am in either Arizona, San Diego, or Mexico — oddly, Jim Stone is in Mexico on the run from the Cabal, maybe they still think I am Jim Stone? My response: Keep trying, people, but the fact is: you are not good enough, you are not smart enough, you have fallen into every trap I set up to keep you guessing, to keep you confused, to make you convinced you have stumbled onto something which is horse puckey, all that keeps you far far away. Why are you so obsessed with unmasking me? Have you nothing better to do?  I have been accused of being at least 15 different people now, none of them even close, and many quite a distance away. I am here to tell you: you are delusional, psychotic, pathetic, and in need of psychiatric care; please.

On the not so amusing side: we have discovered the Alvah Consciousness is still trying to emerge from inner earth, from Salinas and Monterey, California, to Northern Japan and Louisiana. Our fine feline friends continue to keep it underground. New enemies in the game, the Larhar people, attacked an Andromedan ship and caused much damage, more on that later. The USAF lost its battle with the Fourth Reich.

Procyon Bound

I am going to Procyon for a meeting. I am not sure when I will be back. I will be on the planet for a few weeks but returning earth time anywhere between one and twenty-four hours. So if I stop posting for a bit, don’t think I have been cloned or compromised. Remember, if I don’t post for longer than 72 hours, I am dead. If anything tremendous happens, Sub Commander Olien will put a notice up.

Accept No Clones!

Fukashima, Mon Amor

Be wary, there are two Jim Stones out there, the real one and a clone (he was cloned when jailed over writng the truth about who attacked Fukashima). The real one, “under duress” and on the run from Cabal assassims, talk about how the 3-11 Japan quake was a nuke attack:

http://www.jimstonefreelance.com/fukushima1.html

Ninjas vs. Reptilians

 

A blow to the forces of good…

A reptillian troop tranport landed in the northern Japanese city Sopporo, carrying 50 15-foot tall ground support reptoid Cabal soliders and began abducting women and children and killing men.

Choidon Daikaku summoned up 1,000 ninja warriors in the area to handle the matter. A bloody battle ensued.

The ninjas lost. Martial arts and katana swords were no match to the brutal strength of lasers and sonic-sound weapons. The injured ninjas that were still alive were taken by the reptoids and eaten in a victory feast.

Larher ships came for hostages.

Nearly 2,000  women and children are missing.

The Putin/Soros Cabal Deception

Hearing and seeing this might make people think Putin is on the side of good, but it’s all a scripted drama. It is a Trojan Horse — just when it seems like Putin and Co. are going to take down the Rothschilds/Rockefeller Crime organization, the horse will smash open and the invaders will attack from within.

Listen: there is no nation leader that is not a member of the Cabal. They would never allow it. Yes, in the future, this will be different, but at the moment, Putin is in the same boat with the Queen Lizard, the Pope, Obama, you name it. Take a look at the Star Wars scenario, where the wars and opposite factions are simply a game orchestrated by one evil entity…in this world, the puppet master is Grand Lizard himself, Lucifer. Remember, Lucifer is the Great Deceiver: he wants people to think he is losing, that he does not exist, that the war against evil is a done deal. He has agents working on both sides, scripting a screenplay for the Cabal Hologram.

You need mot believe me, ask yourself within: is Putin a good guy or bad guy?  Approach both answers with caution, because deception and betrayal are all around us.

Even our own hearts can turn against our self.

USAF v. Fourth Reich

A dozen Cabal/US Air Force TR3bs have deployed to Antarctica and have engaged air battle with bell=shaped Fourth Reich anti-gravity ships.

Not sure what this means…both sides’ ships are rather antiquated technology. It may be possible this is a time slip.

Many Dracos and Gray Ships Welcomed by Putin

Hoards of Cabal vessels on earth bases and on the moon have  retreated and re-located to underground bases in the Soviet Union. Vladimir Putin has welcomed them with open arms.

Here is proof that Putin has aligned with the Queen Lizard herself:

Yoshihiko Noda, Prime Minister of Japan, Secretly Cloned by the Cabal

(Knight-Ridder) — Shape-shifting reptoid Cabalist Stephen Harper, aka the Prime Minister of Canada, visted Japan several days ago. We have now learned that the Grays from Orion abducted Japan Prime Minister Yoshihoka Noda and had him cloned.

Then the Noda Clone entered into a Luciferian agreement that could result in complete destruction of the Japanese maninland.

“Perhaps the proposed fiat AmeroDollar is a soulable solution,” said Noda in a press  conference.

Concurring, the lizard boy Harper stated, “It is the dawn of a new day, eh.”

Asked for comment, Choidon Daukaku, leader of the White Dragons Society, grumbled, “I will send out 100,000 ninjjas to find the real Noda-san!”

Ben Fulford, still shaken by his visit from Allah, was not available for comment.

 

A true story…

I met her on Erra.

Sumatra Update

Andromeda Council fleet has destroyed three bases in Southern and Northern Sumatra operated by negative grays from the Orion system. A high commander was taken into custody and is being mind scanned for locations of other Cabal bases.

Revelation of the Gnostic Reich of Submissive Spies

James Casbolt (I am not sure if it is the original Casbolt or one of his many clones) has informed me about some truly dark stuff going on in British Intelligence. Here is his email:

 

FWH,

You have no idea how serious a problem the clone folly is in the UK. There is a faction within MI5 called the Gnostic Reich of Submissive Spies (GROSS), kinky operatives who have obtained clones of certain woman and instead of turning them into sex slaves, they have made them dominatrixes. They have a secret dungeon in Liverpool where they keep dominatrix clones of Hilary Clinton, Emma Watson, and even Kerry Cassidy. Yes, Kerry, which is fitting for her since we all know she has a thing for submissive British intel agents.

You can see how some of these guys might need it, the way powerful Japanese men go to Caucasian dommes to experience humiliation at their boots and whips. These spies go out on dangerous missions, they’re acting like he-men with their killing and torturing, but when they return to Britain, they need some reversal of roles. This is where a good domme clone of Emma Watson or Hilary Clinton come in. Kerry, too.

Am I a Project IBIS Time Traveling Super Soldier Clone?

Now Duncan O’Finioan is saying I am either Michael Prince or a clone of James Casbolt.

Well, in this interview, Casbolt/Prince does say he has a lot clones running around in time, one even masquerading as Dr. Joseph Mengele in Nazi Germany…

The Makow-Stone Theory

Ha! So much scrambling out there to figure out who I am…

Now someone is claimimg I am Henry Makow.

And another person has a theory that she is “certain” I am cloned jounalist Jim Stone.

Am I? Maybe I am both.

Keep trying…

Oh, what the hell. Look, I am really Martial Arts Society Leader Chodoin Daikaku,  with an army of 200 million ninjas at my beck and call.

Really!

Putin on the Ritz: An Unholy Alliance Between Russia and Rome

Today, Russian President Vladimir Putin met with the Pope in Cuba to seal a deal that aligns the Soviet Union with the Cabalist Zionist Catholic church to destroy Japan and any other country rejecting the Rothschild/Rockefeller banking system.

“I have seen the light of fiat currency,” says Putin. “Hail Satan!”

It is reported that a bank account in Putin’s name has been opened in Vatican City with $666 billion deposited via one click of the Black Screen.

“Our first matter of business is Japan,” says the pope, who had stopped off in Cuba after his visit to Mexico. “They either sink or swim, their choice.”

The two men celebrated the alliance underground in Havana with 77 virgin mind-controlled sex kittens, all abducted from Japan and South Korea.

EWAABS Mobolize to Battle Alien Sex Fiends: “Say No to Big Lusty Lizards!”

For Immediate Release

(API)  — Angry feminists are organizing to stamp out yet another outrage perpetrated by lustful entities that own a penis: sexual attacks by Cabalist aliens on earth women.

Hundreds of determined women are lining up to take lessons in judo and kung fu from Chodoin Daikaku, the Leader of the Martial Arts Societies, and the clone of the resurrected spirit of Bruce Lee; Sarah Stenga will provide video seminars for women to learn how to spot lurking honry lizard men and their gang-stalking spacecraft.

They say they’re going to make UFO abductions obsolete on earth by the end of 2013

“We’re fed up with space aliens abducting women and subjecting them to filthy attacks,” said Monica Raines, 42, head of the politucal activist group called Earth Women Against Alien Brutal Sex (EWAABS). “It’s bad enough when human males assault us. We’re not going to permit the practice to spread to extraterrestrials as well. This has become a galactic problem.”

“The women of Procyon endured sexual enslavement to reptillians and grays for 200 years,” says Professor Alexis du Bery, a sociologist at Duke University who researches the cultural effect alien-human sex has on society, “until they stood up and faught back, saying No to Big Lusty Lizard Penis.”

Over the past 50 years, UFO abductions have become increasingly common all over the world. Women suffer especially from these experiences, says Raines. A number of them have borne hybrid babies resulting from extraterrestrial rapes. Some are used repeatedly for alien orgies and sex rituals involving Satanic bankers and politicians.

Professor du Bery says the U.S military often kidnaps women for the aliens, called Project Milab Babes, to maintain a treaty the governments of the world signed with extraterrtrials. “It is known as the Pussy-for-Advanced Technology Agreement, or PATA.

“We want women all over the country to realize that these terrible things can happen to them,” she said. “and we want them to know what they can do to defend themselves.”

And from that philosophy, the Anti-PATA Movement emerged.

“We’re getting militant,” says Raines.  “We’re planning to set up groups around the world to inform women and train them in self- defense. We’re putting out a book giving tips on avoiding space rape abductions called How to Block the Reptoid Cock.”

While interstellar and extra-dimensional sexual assault mosty happens to women, a small percentage of men also experience this from these nasty alien sex fiends.


EWAABS say you can’t elude a determined alien if he is really intent on getting you, but you can do certain things to make yourself less attractive — and hopefully send him elsewhere for a victim. They offer gals the following pointers on how to avoid UFO abductions and rape:

  • WEAR YELLOW: Aliens don’t like yellow — especially mustard yellow and have never abducted anyone wearing that color.
  • DON’T DRIVE OR GO OUT AT NIGHT: If you must go somewhere, use music as a protection. Switch your car radio or boombox to easy-listening, Muzak-type tunes that aliens hate. Harp and zither music also drives them away.
  • USE A PROTECTIVE SCENT: Oddly enough, mosquito repellant will ward off space aliens. So will the odor of bourbon whiskey, which can be splashed on like perfume for alien protection.
  • NEVER, EVER, GO ANYWHERE ALONE: Aliens rarely abduct anyone in front of witnesses.
  • BATHE OFTEN: Spacemen locate most of their victims by body odor. If you’re scentless, they will choose someone else.
  • WEAR PLATINUM: Platinum causes space alien appliances to malfunction.

YHWH Pays a Visit to Benjamin Fulford, Angry at Being Called Satan

(JCN Network) — Controversial internet journalist Benjamin Fulford, recently freed from Rothschild imprisonment by the White Dragon Society and the Brethren of the White Robe, was seen running naked from his apartment in Tokyo this morning at 4:00 A.M., claiming that he had been paid a visit by the God of Abraham, known as YHWH (Yahweh) in Judaism, Allah in Islam.

After given a sedative, the distraught Fulford-san told the police: “The God of Abraham, this deity also called Allah, was pissed off because I told the world that he is Satan.”

Fulford is expected to announce a retraction for the slander against this vengeful, violent god.

Asked to comment, Satan, from his villa in Vatican City, said, “Go ahead and think I am Allah Yahweh, go ahead and say Fulford is correct, that is fine with me — for I am my Name.”

 

Ancient Ammonite God, Moloch, Makes Demands of the U.N.

For Immediate Release

March 28, 2012

(AP) — This morning, the ancient pagan Ammonite god, Moloch (also known as Baal in Sumerian lore), cousin of Lucifer, descended from the skies over New York City, surrounded by 1,000 demon warriors.

Moloch landed in Times Square and did not seem pleased.

The antediluvian deity made its way to the United Nations Building and addressed the leaders of the world, demanding increased blood sacrifices of children.

“More wars, more bonbs!”yelled Moloch. “More abortions!”

Trembling in fear, many U.N. ambassadors pledged submission.

Outside the U.N. building, George Bush  Sr. and Jr. fell down before Mooch in worship, as they had done while in the Skull and Bones Society.

SHOCKING NEWS: GOD HAS BEEN CLONED!

 

A developing story…

To be Updated…

Obama: “I Cloned the Sheriff, but I Did Not Dupe the Deputy.”

For Immediate Release

(Reuters) — Controversial Maricopa County, Arizona, Sheriff Joe Arpaio went missing on Monday night, March 26, and did not return until 48 hours later. Family and co-workers noticed a difference in his demeanor and attitude.

“It was like he was an empty shell, a robot,” said a deputy who did not wish to be named.

He was last seen being led into a dark van by three men in black suits and white shirts.

“I had a feeling he had been cloned,” said a coffee shop owner near the sheriff station. “He didn’t order his usual tall iced coffee and glazed donut.”

It became clear to many others that Sheriff Arpaio was apparently a clone. He looked in the men’s bathroom mirror, according to sources, and said, “Who the hell cloned me?”

One of the three President Obama clones held a press conference and admitted that he had signed an executive order that allows the government t clone any law enforcement officer or member of the military who is deemed a high risk to national security.

The Obama Clone denied this decision was over Arpaio’s recent press conference accusing the original President of forging his birth certificate and selective service card, and using a social security number not his.

“I cloned the sheriff, yes,” said the presidential clone, “but I did it or national defence.”

“Sheriff Joe is a really good friend of mine, back in my days at Hard Copy,” said the clone of Sean David Morton on his radio show, “and his clone will be a good friend too. I am good friends with everyone. I know everyone — Wesley Snipes, Bill Shatner, Ron Paul, Terrence McKenna, Art Bell — I grew up with them and laughed and cried with them. So clones are cool with me, being accused of one myself.”

Obama declined to say where the original Sheriff Arpaio is. Secure sources indicate that he was sent to Guantanamo, center of the recent scandal over “Project Tickle,” the se of ticked torture for interrogating prisoners and forcing their souls out of body.

Arpaio has not addressed Arizona’s position on the citizenship rights of clones.

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